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Joke of the Day

"""I definitely have the biggest penis in this room,"" I announced drunkenly at the party. Slightly ruined my son's 13th."

"First joke I ever told. You know what a hypocrite is? A guy that hates cats, but loves pussy."

"1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave"

"What is the funniest name for male prostitutes? Peter sellers."

"What did the Australian Chess player say to the waiter? Cheque, mate!"

"Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class? He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution."

"Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here My dog when we go for a walk."

"I just want to win the Powerball lottery and eat unlimited carbs for the rest of my days."

"I'm starting a career by putting bombs in prayer mats I think prophets will go through the roof"

"The worst reaction I ever got telling a joke was in front of a bunch of crickets."