151001

Joke of the Day

"Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ? It was a cup draw !"

Next Joke
 
"I've never gotten in a car accident whenever I'm drunk or high. So, statistically, based on the data, I am a worse driver when I'm sober. Now where's my whiskey?"
"Computer problems can be solved with duct tape if you apply it directly to the mouth of the person asking you to help fix their computer."
"My wife doesn't appreciate that I love her mother in law more than I love mine."
"How does a mermaid give a man head? She blows him out of the water"
"Me: ""Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession."" Priest: ""You're off to a bad start."""
"I overheard two of my friends talking about me the other day... I said ""you disgust me"" ""Yes, we did"" they replied."
"What's the only disease a potato can get? tuber-culosis"
"What's white, red, black, blue, and doesn't like sex??? The 9 yr old in my trunk!!!"
"""Florence + the Machine"" would be a funny name for a Leonardo da Vinci biopic. Follow this account for more goodass Renaissance tweets"