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Joke of the Day
"A new and better nail clipper was invented today What a cutting-edge technology it is"
Next Joke
"Going to prison I was just sentenced to twenty years for my part in a timeshare fraud. I have to go to prison for two weeks every year for 10 years."
"Hey girl are you soy sauce because you always ""no MSG"" me back"
"Despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late '90s, if you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends."
"Q: Why did the sheep jump into the lake? A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th."
"My kleptomania is getting worse I should definitely take something."
"Your mama is so fat... She bungee jumped and went straight to hell."
"KID: are you sure this will work? ME: *holding a fishing rod with a peppermint attached* do you want a new grandpa or not?"
"What does Matthew McConnaughey call Nazis when he's trying to bring them into the mainstream? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"
"What crime did the viticulturist get imprisoned for? Grape."