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Joke of the Day

"I bought a new pair of shoes the other day I don't know what they laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass."

"Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him!!!"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they just beat the room for being black"

"A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him She texts him : ""your new vehicle has been launched"". He replies : "" is it with gear stick or automatic?"""

"I've never seen 'Downton Abbey', but I did see the episode of 'Roseanne' when Becky ""cut the cheese"" at least 50 times."

"Kim Jong Un has become so fat We now refer to him as Kim Jong Deux."

"I'm sorry I showed you snaps from my colonoscopy after you made me look at your ultrasound. I thought we were sharing pics of our innards."

"What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A $100 bill."

"I went running today but came back after 5 minutes because I forgot something I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes."