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Joke of the Day
"Kim Jong Un has become so fat We now refer to him as Kim Jong Deux."
Next Joke
"Women are like cars. We want the ones that look AND work the best, but none of us have the money."
"It is so much easier to turn friendship into love, than love into friendship."
"4yo: *shoots me with gun* *stuffs gun in my pocket* *runs away* Me: *Realizes he just made it look like a suicide* *keeping an eye on him*"
"I want to create a show called ""Deja Vu"" simply for the ""Previously on Deja Vu""."
"Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby daughter? The baby, because she's a little bigger."
"Last night I tried to go out for an Italian Meal, but there was a huge, fat woman standing in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta."
"Hey girl, are you an overdue library book? Cuz I'm gonna stuff you in the back of my car then forget about you"
"It must be terribly disappointing to go through the trouble of blowing oneself up only to discover 72 twenty year olds playing Warcraft."
"[NSFW] Yesterday I gave a surprise bukkake party to my roommate... ...everyone came. You should have seen her face."