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Joke of the Day

"Why is Trump never on top? Because he always fucks up."

"What's the only disease a potato can get? tuber-culosis"

"How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram"

"I got fucked by a priest 15 years ago... I still remeber his exact words...He said, ""You may now kiss the bride""!"

"What is a pair of sheep's favorite instrument? Two-Baaas."

"The name is Berry Dickenson (shitty oc)... ...As in I wish to bury my dick in your son."

"What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest? Ones a pant in the country the others a..."

"I have a button on my microwave that says stop time. I assume its for the timer but I don't touch it just in case."

"""I was going to attend the clairvoyants meeting..."" ""...but it was canceled due to unforeseen events."""

"A young lady from my office just sent me an email saying ""ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"" Oh boy am I excited, but what does ""ternative"" mean?"