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Joke of the Day

"Fun Christmas Trivia: ""Myrrh"" is the awkward sound you make when you look at your bank balance on Dec 26th."

"Some people said my dog was too scared to shit itself... Then I replied ""That's why I have to beat them."""

"Hi, my name is Kate. I am 12 and I am still a virgin... does that mean my dad is gay?"

"I didn't know what I was missing until I dated a vampire. They always beg you to let them swallow."

"President Lincoln ""I'm going to miss you, President Lincoln,"" said John Wilkes Booth. Booth lied. He didn't."

"LIKE if you remember what it was like to take a ton of pictures only to wait a week to find out they were useless."

"Today my math teacher taught us how to square root -1 It was unreal"

"If someone asks what you're doing today, grab a knife & yell ""SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO!"" Sounds way cooler than ""Napping!"""

"Knock knock. Who's there? It's Amy. Amy who? It's amy, MARIO!"

"Have you heard about the 2 tampons that could never get dates? [language] They were both stuck up cunts."