141970

Joke of the Day

"I went to my friend's new flat on the weekend for a party. He should have gotten something more 3 dimensional."

"""daddy where do babies come from"" ""we just don't know, sweetie...*peers through blinds, the sky is dark with babies* ""...we just don't know"""

"I have a friend named Tim who is dyslexic and shares too much. We call him Tmi."

"The nsa Because they are a fucking joke"

"Lipstick Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?"

"Why did the cowboy want a Weiner dog? To get a long little doggy."

"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."

"If I had $100 for every time I'd had sex I might break even."

"You have to keep changing your clocks for daylight savings Aint nobody got time fo dat shit but apparently errybody got time fo dat shit."

"Looks like the heavy bag of sirloins fell off the top shelf, landing on the butchers head, and killing him. Looks like the steaks *shades* were too high. YEAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"