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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a plumber cry? Staple a frog to his forehead"

"What type of equipment do you operate for abortions? A baby excavator."

"I was doing the dishes and i realized.. If we could cover our Military vehicles in dried egg yolk we would be unstoppable."

"Dad is the polite way of saying Motherfucker."

"Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, playing with her puddin' Oops. I thought I was searching redtube. Sorry 'bout that."

"What's the difference between a pig and a ham sandwich? You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich."

"Let's see here... Said the blind to the deaf."

"What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke? Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea"

"My wife and I have lists for people we'd make exceptions for... I have one for midgets but it's a small list."

"""Must you lick the knife?"" ""Sorry,force of habit"" I said ""Loads of people do it though, don't they?"" ""Yes, but not during surgery, Doctor"""