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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I have lists for people we'd make exceptions for... I have one for midgets but it's a small list."

"Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"There are 3 types of guys in this world 1) Handsome 2) Lucky 3) Me"

"Text is the perfect way of saying I have some information I need to give you but I in no way shape or form want to hear your voice"

"Why is russian roulette bad for parties? It kills the mood ."

"I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard..."

"Does a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?"

"How do mountainers send messages? By ski-mail."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead."

"what do you call a Chinese man with 2 black eyes who lamped chow"