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Joke of the Day

"Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, playing with her puddin' Oops. I thought I was searching redtube. Sorry 'bout that."

"In case you wondered how much patience I have for questions today, I just told my 4-year-old the sky is blue because I said so."

"Why don't amateur pornstars use big words? Because they're all laymen."

"I went to the zoo yesterday, but it was rubbish. All they had was one dog. It was a shitzu."

"The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared."

"What's the smartest thing that ever came out of Einstein's wife's mouth? Einstein's dick."

"What do you call someone who did their dissertation on the atrocities of Andrew Jackson? A Hickory Dickery Doc"

"A guy at work lost his thumb and had to replace it with his big toe. (True Story) Now we ask to get ""your foot off the table"" when he's eating."

"""That's a wrap, everybody."" ~movie director identifying delicious food"

"Two nuns are riding their bikes down a Paris street.. One looks to the other and says ""You know, I've never come this way before."" The second replies, ""Must be the cobblestones."""