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Joke of the Day

"My father said to me: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' So I sent him to a boarding school in England."

"My wife is like a grape She lets out a little whine."

"Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn't it?"

"Why does a bride wear white? So the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances."

"guy who wrote the Folgers jingle never got woken up with a blowjob."

"What happened to the blind surgeon? He got the sack."

"Where do they send female terrorists? Guantanamo Bae."

"A guy on Catfish dated a girl for 4 years despite only seeing ONE picture of her. I wouldn't buy a futon on Craigslist with only one pic."

"What is Batman's favourite porn site? Motherless.com"

"My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait."