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Joke of the Day

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because that's where the submarine was."

"How Do You Start An African Rave? staple toast to the ceiling..."

"So I went to the zoo today and all they had was a dog. It was a shihtzu."

"It's weird how british people say lift instead of elevator... Its like my dad saying ""your a disappointment"" instead of ""I love you"""

"The asshole in front of me is texting and driving right as I'm tweeting this."

"Whenever I see Americans make fun of Kim Jong-un, I think to myself Come on, you're bigger than that."

"Why do people assume I know all about computers just because I'm from India? That makes so I angry I just want to 01010010101010101010101"

"'How to Win Friends & Influence People' is getting a sequel How to lose friends and alienate people."

"Ocean's 45: The group gets bigger each heist It's too hard to keep secrets Someone posts the next plan on Facebook Everyone goes to jail"

"I try not to tweet about things I'm doing incase it gets taken out of context, but this cock is delicious!"