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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a swiss priest? A Holy Cheese!"

"Happiness is a relative thing. I finally have some extra money and suddenly my relatives are happy."

"""Hello, Pizza Hut"" Hi, how many slices are on a large pizza? ""eight"" And a medium? ""eight"" *long pause* I'd like to speak with your manager"

"Why your convertible is like the best girlfriend you've ever had (1) She enjoys when you're inside her (2) She squeals when you're going hard and fast (3) She takes her top off whenever you ask"

"I don't know. ""Hairy ass"" makes me sound kinda edgy but ""fuzzy bum"" is more family friendly. It's a tough call. Resumes are tricky."

"GUY (whose car died): can u help me? I need a jump ME (pulling a trampoline out of my trunk): im always prepared for emergencies like this"

"No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."

"Why did the pervert cough when he was caught molesting a pony? He was feeling a little horse."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic Christian? .... who worshipped the almighty 'Dog'."

"Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women."