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Joke of the Day

"""Hello, Pizza Hut"" Hi, how many slices are on a large pizza? ""eight"" And a medium? ""eight"" *long pause* I'd like to speak with your manager"

"Husband: Quick. What's this song? Me: Awful."

"It's hard to stop being depressed Because gravity is always bringing me down."

"I'll take ""That's Not A Category"" for $200, Alex. ""That's not a category."" Yes, that's right. ""That's not a category."" I chose that, yes."

"A LOT of people have been photobombing my shots of Waldo"

"Ford claims that 90% of its cars are still on the road today That's pretty bad, apparently only 10% of them made it back home"

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, but it's not five, because my basement is still dark."

"Imagine a bunch of Italian mobsters tiptoeing and trying not to giggle as they gingerly place a horse head in bed with a sleeping guy."

"If two wrongs do not make a right, What do two rights make? An airplane! haha Wright brothers :-) I made this joke when I was in Junior high"

"I just punched Dwayne Johnson in the ass So I guess I've finally hit rock bottom."