158249

Joke of the Day

"Suitable for British consumption I just heard the UK strawberry picking championships has been won by a woman with no legs. Jammy cunt"

"A nun is put to death by a firing squad.... She lived and died holey."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? How the hell did they get inside a light bulb?"

"Girls really shouldn't wear animal print clothing... ...if they're bigger than the said animal."

"No matter what anyone said, I was never going to take the stand. It's 1000 pages, for Pete's sake!"

"Last week I tried to give up swearing... ...but said ""fuck it"" instead."

"Hey girl, are you an empty refrigerator? Because you don't have to be running"

"I don't think it's nice to make fun of schizophrenics. And neither do I."

"TIFU by buying a cheap speaker system Whoops, wrong sub"

"Why do zombies always kill at comedy clubs? Because their jokes are told post-humorously!"