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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between complete and finished? If you find the right woman, you're complete."

"What does the Pokemon dentist do? He takes a Pikachu teeth."

"She ate poison! We have to make her vomit! [everyone looks at me] [i roll my eyes and start getting naked]"

"I'm not saying I'm smarter than you because I use proper punctuation; I'm implying it with semicolons."

"Tired of my wife saying I have no feelings. Do I not cry if you turn off Football? Do I not pout when I can't find good porn? I have layers."

"I don't like when they use ""late"" to describe a deceased person. It's like give a guy a break on his attendance, he's dead."

"I'm addicted to soap But I'm clean now"

"What's the difference... Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and an ass-kisser? A: Depth Perception"

"My girlfriend is half my size but takes up three quarters of the bed. If my math is correct, she's a bitch"

"So there I was hanging from the ledge... When I thought ""hold on a minute..."""