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Joke of the Day

"Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal looks at the other cannibal and says ""hey, does this taste funny?"""

"Siri, where are my pants?"

"Where do senior citizens often go to the restroom? Depends."

"French toast I saw on the menu at a small restaurant 10% more French in your toast and I asked the waitress what that meant and she said. ""We swear at it"""

"Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back"

"I always write ""boing"" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go."

"Nice Fitbit bro. I didn't realize that they had a model you can wear around your ankle."

"Anal piercings are just a pain in the ass I'm so sorry"

"[After reading vows] Me: Why are you upset? Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice."

"I got a new job working in an underwear factory I'll be pulling down 800 a week"