150468

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the paper boy? He blew away. More at www.onebadjoke.com"

"As a kid, I put snowballs in the blender to make a slushy. Snowballs was a good cat..."

"Yo momma is so fat that she was sorted into the House of Pancakes"

"I still enjoy sex at 68. I only live at number 66 - it's no distance."

"Why are white prisoners scarier than black prisoners? The white guy might actually be guilty. (Stolen from a comment by /u/CanadianWildlifeDept)"

"How do you make a sandwich legendary? Make it on dark rye"

"*Opens fridge *Sees chocolate bar with a note ""please don't eat me"". *Eats chocolate bar Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?"

"Him- I saw you over here sipping your wine. Me- You clearly have me mistaken for another very attractive woman, because I don't sip wine."

"My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid."

"What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family."