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Joke of the Day

"Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming? ROFLMFAO! JK! Lolz Ttyl KK Ur BFF, Hannibal ~ Hannibal Lecter discovers text messages"

"I keep hoping one day I'll be stuck on a 6-hour flight next to Flavor Flav just so I can ask him what time it is every five minutes."

"I am 99% sure USA's Student's t is 2.576. Because America got an infinite degree of freedom."

"SON: I need lunch money. DAD: Get a job. SON: I'm in 5th grade- DAD: All I'm hearin' is excuses."

"News: Coleen Rooney has flown out to Brazil with her two sons to be with Wayne until England's World Cup campaign is over. That's nice bit far to go for a weekend though if you ask me."

"What's a mouse's best friend? Curiosity!"

"Does the baby have access to my ribs? It feels like they're bars and she's an old timey prisoner with a tin mug"

"[Sexting] ""So, what are you wearing?"" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes."

"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."

"Where did all the Sephardic Jews go? I dunno, you'll have to Ashkenazi"