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Joke of the Day

"I phoned a Chinese restaurant. A guy answered and said ""Hello, I'm Wang King the chef"" I said ""Don't worry, l'll call back later when you're not busy """

"Note to shelf: Thanks for keeping my stuff off the floor."

"Critics agree that plot considerations did not justify the near-constant nudity in your film ""How To Safely Use A Ladder In The Workplace"""

"I can tell we still live in a sexist society because... Doctors still make more money than nurses."

"There's a disturbing movie about an evil German lunatic who creates an ass-to-mouth chain of people who digest each other's shit. You know, that documentary about the Trump campaign."

"Best part of Twenty Sever year olds. Theres twenty of them."

"My granddad's favourite joke What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence? Time to get a new fence..."

"Adolf Hitler has been judged very harshly by history however.. he did kill Hitler. NB: stolen from Jimmy Carr"

"What do you call a Dadaist fabric? Man Rayon"

"When I was 6 my cousin stole my boomerang. The next day his parents died in a car crash. Andy, if you're reading this, I want my boomerang."