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Joke of the Day
"already regret the text i'm about to send"
Next Joke
"Just made a deal with the devil. I got a PS2, half a box of white wine and an autographed photo of George Bush in exchange for my Kia Soul."
"Best part of Donald Trump giving you a hand job. His little hands make your dick look bigger."
"5-year-old daughter: Barbie is mad at Ken. *pushes their faces together* Me: Did they kiss and make up? 5: No. She headbutted him."
"You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron."
"I thought I was drowning in an ocean of orange soda yesterday.... It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."
"Cinderella, but the Prince is searching for the maiden who matches the glass thigh gap."
"Twitter: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk dial the world?"
"Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions."
"[throwes some foam packing peanuts into a pond] ""HEY! NO LITERING--"" shh wait [a flock of rubber duckies float over squeaking excitedley]"