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Joke of the Day

"Domestic abuse joke I went to a restaurant the other night and my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered real slow because obviously she can't listen."

"Mermaids and their boobs This one has always been a hit for me out in the field, in a goofy way. Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because their boobs are too big for B-shells!"

"I love it when the playoff picture begins to develop in baseball. That means football is beginning."

"Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head is so far away from it's body."

"What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife? I don't know."

"Ugly is in the eye of the beholder as well."

"There was a surprising surge in Republican support for Syrian Refugees today They found out 80% of the islamic refugees supported punishing gay people and bans on pre-marital sex. *pew-polls*"

"Girl, is your dad Louis Vuitton? Because you have such big bags under your eyes. Wait am I doing this right"

"One thing that Trump's supporters love most about him is his authenticity... Unfortunately, he also embodies the most dangerous example of inauthenticity: the combover."

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman."