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Joke of the Day

"Popular joke in Ukraine ""Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew."""

"Why do we all need a Jew for a friend? Because he'll never give you a penny for your thoughts, he'll never put his two cents in, & he'll never drop a dime on you!"

"When Egypt had no internet, it was called Gypt."

"Why did Admiral Ackbar spend his entire Hawaiian vacation thinking he was about to get suicide-bombed? Brown people kept approaching him saying, ""Aloha, Ackbar!"""

"Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly."

"How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp? Give him sheet music."

"There are more and more suicide bombers around nowadays isn't there... then again... also less and less."

"I'd be worried about my privacy settings on Facebook too if I had as many pictures of my ugly baby as you do."

"I was going to major in cosmetology.. ..but then they shut down the space program.. idiots."

"The Katy Perry song that goes, ""You're hot and you're cold,"" was actually about a microwaveable burrito."