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Joke of the Day

"If you have a pet parrot and don't teach it to say ""Help they've turned me into a parrot"", you're wasting everyone's time."

"What's the difference between Beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are over a dollar; deer nuts are under a buck."

"Sometimes people want to have full conversations really early in the morning and it's okay to kill those people."

"Two necrophiliacs are walking down the street when they pass a morgue. The first necrophiliac says to the second ""Want to stop in for a couple of cold ones?"""

"Wolverine and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""No claws, please!"" They both leave."

"What's the difference between a Jewish kid and an American kid? (Going to hell for this one...) The American kid comes back from camp."

"If a Nun changed sex... Would that make them a tran-sister?"

"NSFW? - Definition of a Period A period is a bloody waste of fucking time! (works in Australia, and probably England)"

"When humorists pole-dance it's called a comic strip."

"I got a job as a stand up with a comic sans resume, but i lost my CV Now im a comic sans resume"