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Joke of the Day

"I hired a golf pro to tell me what's wrong with my tee shots He said I was standing too close to the ball, after I hit it."

"Why is outer space so clean? It's a vacuum!"

"My boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together. I totally nailed it."

"""I like every kind of music except country"" -teens who are into hip-hop, classical, barbershop quartets, celtic music, big band, and chants."

"My wife just made a ""special"" dinner ""just for me"" for no apparent reason. I'm going to die, right ?"

"What do you call a class for dumb gingers? Speckle-ed."

"How do you get rid of a Reddit admin? Chooter"

"My phone dies quicker than the black guy in a horror movie."

"If you ever get attacked by a shark, don't forget to take a moment and appreciate the statistical improbability of it all."

"I want to become famous... so that one day, when people approach me asking ""Hey, do I know you from somewhere?"" I can reply with ""I don't know, do you watch a lot of porn?"""