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Joke of the Day

"-hey lucifer. did it hurt -did what hurt -when you fell from heaven -for the last time gabriel i am not going out with you"

"I would tell you a joke about pizza... ...but it would be too goddamn cheesey."

"A penny saved is a penny that will sit around in a jar for five years ;)"

"I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me."

"I can't get out of bed. These blankets has accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust!"

"Why did god kill all the herbivore dinosaurs? He liked his salads a little meteor."

"How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife? On a blind date"

"English teacher asks me, ""What's an example of pleonasm? ""Troublesome Woman"""

"A Frenchman walls into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says, ""Where'd you get that?"" The parrot says, ""In France. They're everywhere!"""

"Why does Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house, that's in a black neighborhood."