149918

Joke of the Day

"A duck walks into a bar with one shoe on... He orders a pint and the barman says ""....Hey, did you lose a shoe?"" And the duck says ""Nah, I found one"""

"[blind date] ""I'm like, really good at *looks on hand* making the sex"" -did you just read that off your hand? ""Hey! You're not blind!"""

"What comes between Fear and Sex? Funf"

"""I wanted to lose 10 lbs. this year.... only 13 lbs. to go!"""

"Me: You never told me you were on the debate team in college.. Her: Yes I did. Me: No you didn't. Her: Yes I did. Me: Oh you're good!"

"What's a Polygon? A dead parrot."

"A clown at the circus got tomato thrown at him from the audience, he turns and says HAY, THATS NOT FUNNY"

"Two kittens are on a slanted roof, which one slides off first? The one with the least mew."

"Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors, they would be called chicken sedans..."

"I can prove that every redditor can read other people's minds Other people's minds"