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Joke of the Day

"How do you cover 18 holes with one hole? Have your mom sit down on a golf course."

"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."

"I was in bed with a woman and she said, I want tonight to be magical And it was. After we had sex, I disappeared."

"How do Buddhist monks compare interests? With zen diagrams!"

"Why is Alabama the worlds biggest sandwich? Because the whole state is inbred"

"What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole."

"My wife called me a paedophile yesterday Quite a long word for a 9 year old."

"I was quite an upbeat child, I used to think CCTV was a very, very positive Spanish television channel"

"Abortion sure brings out the kid in you."

"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times shame on you. It's always going to be you. It's NEVER me."