201424

Joke of the Day

"Abortion sure brings out the kid in you."

"What's long, hard and has cum in it? A cucumber"

"a seemingly perfect utopia immediatley becoms a dystopia when u find out evryone refers to eachother by watever their first email adress was"

"If you can't beat the record, you can beat up its owner."

"Why don't robots have any brothers anymore? Because they have trans-sisters."

"What does ever horse and rider do at the same time? Grow old!"

"It looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night ... Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because his barista fucking hastes hipsters."

"My wife really wanted a dog, so I bought her a pug. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her."

"Yesterday I saw an ad that said ""radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down"""