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Joke of the Day

"If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. I can't stand the sound of clapping."

"I lost my mood ring yesterday I don't know how I feel about it."

"We are a generation away from having grandpas named Skyler and Landon and it's all of your faults."

"What are some good ""hate on America"" jokes from other countries? Try your best to offend me! I want something to make me go fuck, that was good."

"What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!"

"Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.? Because Michael Douglas starred in ""Double Jeopardy"" in 1999."

"If Donald Trump wants to send all the illegal female Mexicans back over the border Then he should give sexting a go."

"If by ""physically fit"" you mean that I am going to physically fit this entire cupcake into my mouth then yes."

"""Is there a Mr. Fields?"" I say to my twelfth cookie, all the while knowing she's all mine."

"How do whores in Westeros get into the castle? Hodor."