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Joke of the Day

"If Donald Trump wants to send all the illegal female Mexicans back over the border Then he should give sexting a go."

"I will ride you like a helicopter. Totally out of control."

"To be a hipster is to live in constant suffering You spend all your time in coffee shops, but you always have to drink your coffee before it's cool."

"I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. ... .... It's a whisk I was willing to take."

"Mommy what's an ""Act of God?"" Me: *Flashback to my CrossFit trainer* Well dear, an ""active god"" is in his mid-20s and has a smokin hot body"

"If someone on the Windows team at Microsoft gets fired... would you say they've been defenestrated?"

"9/11 was an outside job... ...until the planes came in"

"""Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated."" Thank you news-anchor. It's my first summer."

"What is the coolest food on the planet? Burr-ito!"

"A blind man walks into a bar And a table. And a chair."