85885

Joke of the Day

"[Installing ceiling fan] Me: drill...screwdriver... tape...there finished! Wife on the phone: Is this Bob's fix-it shop? Yeah, he just got done."

"A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ...""there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"" Doc says, ""Tell him I can't see him today."""

"I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time.- So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

"I make weak food puns They're never stroganoff."

"Why is Donald Trump's pet bee so unwilling to share information? It's a cagey bee."

"[Scooby & the gang catch a regular guy] ""Let's see who this ghost really is!"" No! Wait, I'm not- [rip off face] *gasps* ""OLD MAN SKELETON?"""

"Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better."

"I like my coffee how I like my women Forgotten about in the kitchen"

"A friend and I just decided that in 10 years if we aren't married we will tell each other what's honestly wrong about ourselves."

"Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking? It was making him Moody Edit: Guys, its a Harry Potter Joke for those who don't get it."