65673

Joke of the Day

"[interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal ""That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!"" *turns to whiteboard* welcome"

"People who know me say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people."

"Cross-eyed people, just look down. We'll come get you if we need you."

"My girlfriend thinks my jokes are stupid, but she still wants to have sex with me. So, who's stupid now?"

"So many things have made me laugh today but not one of them was funny."

"DADT repeal is causing apprehension and high expectations among the military's top brass The navy, in particular, is eagerly awaiting a flood of fresh seamen."

"evryone shutup im trying to paper mache my dog but he keeps trying to reading the newspaper articles"

"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much But in the end it doesn't even matter"

"I told the cashier that her eyebrows were drawn too high I guess she didn't realize because she seemed pretty surprised."