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Joke of the Day

"I love the concept of karma. It means all the people I mistreat and fuck over every day must have it coming."

"Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams."

"I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics... But graphing is where I draw the line!"

"Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes one cigarette lighter."

"There's a little girl's voice that sings lullabies in my guest room closet but don't mind her; she died years ago. Here's your blanket."

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 38 D breasts? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!"

"What's black on top and white at the bottom? Rape."

"What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho Cheese."

"I once put a bunch of grapes in a woman's vagina.... She didn't say much, she just let out a little wine."

"""How's your sexual history?"" Well doc, if i had to summarize it in one word it would be ""deletable"""