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Joke of the Day

"Hey, people who act like they're about to fight but are really friends, you are FREAKING the rest of us out."

"[VERY RACIST-NSFW] So they get married... So a nigger and a Mexican get married, and both sets of their parents are afraid... THAT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE TOO LAZY TO STEAL"

"I just don't get you people who prefer the cold over the heat. The best times of my life are spent being hot, sweaty, and naked. Not cold, shivering, and bundled up."

"What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? We don't know; she hasn't opened her presents yet."

"Did you hear about the African comedian who died from a mosquito? He was malarious"

"When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people."

"What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month? The Imperial March."

"Pouring water on someone's head to promote something is kinda weird. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's go baptize some babies."

"What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding? He force quit."

"How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg? Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesn't make it a leg."