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Joke of the Day

"What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? We don't know; she hasn't opened her presents yet."

"What is 30 feet long and has 42 teeth? A bus full of rednecks"

"What's the worst thing at a bad joke party? The punch lines."

"Octopus! how many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh? ten tickles!!"

"So apparently Curiosity, a Mars rover, found something resembling a mouse... If Mars is suffering from a mouse infestation it's probably because Curiosity killed the cat."

"I bet the Mayans made great boyfriends because they're always wrong about everything."

"The past 2 hours I spent at the mall would have been a lot more constructive if I looked for gifts instead of staring at mannequin nipples."

"Which course did Hillary Clinton select when playing Mario Kart? The short circuit"

"Hey, is your name Paul Revere? Because I want to give you a midnight ride!"

"Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !"