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Joke of the Day

"Movie Opinion As far as I'm concerned, Precious is the best film in the Big Momma's House franchise."

"Q: What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane? A: I have my eye on you."

"""Oh my god! That guy's dead! Oh wait, he's totally fine."" (someone watching soccer for the first time)"

"Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No Bell Prize."

"What is the difference between Ellen Pao her brain and Aids? Aids develops itself"

"What do you call a hooker at Christmas? A frostitute"

"You know what we call comedy gold in the chemistry world? Ha2Au (I'm sorry, also the 2 should be sub-scripted but reddit wouldn't let me do that)"

"I think that, in the space race, the U.S.S.R. got to Mars first. Because mars is the red planet."

"[boxing match] ANNOUNCER: ...and the challenger weighing 8lbs 7oz, Billy ""The Baby"" Sanchez CHAMP: That's a real baby TRAINER: You got this"

"I'm about as jealous as a cancer patient who watches x-men."