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Joke of the Day
"They told me to stay positive.. I told them I have HIV."
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"[THIS IS NOT THE GENERIC CHICKEN JAYWALKING JOKE] Why did Adele cross the road? To say ""Hello From The Other Side""."
"The only person who's never seen what a chef in a pizzeria looks like is the artist who draws the cartoon chefs on pizza boxes."
"I have 11 pictures of myself from high school. My daughter has 11 pictures of herself from this morning."
"I hate school and got caught skipping the other day... My principal said, ""Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."""
"FYI: You can't make rose by running red wine through a Brita filter."
"Sure, I'd get married. But follow him on Twitter? I'm not ready for that kind of commitment."
"How come sneezes get a ""God Bless You"" but coughs get a cold unflinching silence?"
"What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil? *thick Italian accent* ""She don't even touch it."""
"What do mutiny and an orgasm have in common? A sudden surge of seamen."