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Joke of the Day

"It's a difficult day for me today. Today is the day I tell my dog that I am not his biological mother and that his real mother was a bitch."

"Did you hear about the popcorn that was demoted? He used to be a kernel."

"If you have never turned away from you children and uttered the words ""What a complete Idiot"" Bravo,you sir/mam are the Jesus of parenting."

"What is the difference between Ironman and Iron woman? One is a super hero and the other is a command. *I'll show myself out...*"

"There was a pair of Siamese triplets, but they wanted to be a pair. So they cut out the middle man."

"DOCTOR: [holding $5 bill] what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay but you're still dying ME: [hands him another $5 bill]"

"Difference between jam and jelly You can't jelly your cock in a girls ass"

"[if trump wins somehow] alien: ""i said take me to your leader"" me: ""dude i swear this is him"""

"Are people with OCD upset that those letters aren't in alphabetical order?"

"I feel like not enough people know about the situation in Yemen It's like no one knows Houthis guys are."