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Joke of the Day

"I was having sex with a female amputee in the dark I trying to figure out why my ass hurt, but she had me stumped."

Next Joke
 
"Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds."
"Three people having sex is called a threesome... Two people having sex is called a twosome. Now I know why everyone calls me handsome. (My brothers Facebook status today...)"
"[NSFW] Yesterday I gave a surprise bukkake party to my roommate... ...everyone came. You should have seen her face."
"My Level of Maturity Changes Depending On Who I'm With"
"Have you heard there's a new disease you can get from using Linux? It's Terminal. (OC joke.)"
"What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.? Between a politician and a news camera."
"Why are Peruvians always deported? Because they can't Peruve they're citizens"
"Ever had to force a smile while someone takes forever trying to figure out how to use the camera? That's how teenagers feel 24 hours a day."
"*passive aggressively turns off Christmas lights when someone stops too long to look at them*"