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Joke of the Day
"Knock knock Knock Knock... Who's there? The police The police who? Mam, your son is dead."
Next Joke
"Who was the chicken's favorite composer? Bach!"
"Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant Me: Oh my god [later that day] Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That's for inventing milk"
"How do you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber? Ask them to say the word **unionized**"
"My wife asked me how I could love her and still enjoy watching porn. I told her, I love my car but I still watch NASCAR"
"What do you call the Loch Ness monster on drugs You're high ness"
"So an atheist pastor, vegan butcher, and the presidential candidate Donald Trump walk into a bar..."
"I hate when I'm checking out a bag of chips, and the guy standing in front of it, thinks my lustful gaze is meant for him."
"Why aren't ants going to church? Because they are in sects."
"Wife: Why the hell did you buy a buffalo? Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it."