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Joke of the Day
"""fine! leave me because I talk like I'm in a novel but you aren't taking the kids, he exclaimed"""
Next Joke
"Sometimes girls look at me and say, ""Mmm not bad."" They don't say it out loud but I can tell they're thinking that."
"""She's not THAT pretty."" is girl code for ""She's so pretty and I hate her."""
"Congratulations on being hired by Super Cuts & welcome to day 1 training. Let's get started These are called scissors *collective aww*"
"What's a classic Russian sci-fi film? Czar Wars"
"I may be dating myself here, but the restaurant doesn't mind my intricate placement of mirrors that fool me into believing I'm not alone."
"Q: Did you hear the slogan for the the new ""Stealth Condom?"" A: ""They'll never see you coming."""
"What's the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money? Collect unemployment insurance!"
"Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman."
"Olive Garden's motto of ""When Youre Here, Youre Family"" makes sense bc I also try to make my family miserable by serving them terrible food."