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Joke of the Day

"I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal."

"Kryptonite They call my dick Kryptonite, Because not even Superman can handle it. Boom!"

"My girlfriend isn't a cunt She's not that deep or warm"

"*walks into IT department attempting to look cool* You guys torrent any emails lately?"

"My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers Girls Gone Wilde."

"*calls lost & found* Me: Have you seen my patience? L&F: Hold on a second. Me: *click*"

"Why do melons insist on having big weddings? Because they just cantaloupe."

"I went jogging one time why am I not thin?"

"Two cowboys walk into a bar... And the bar done et the slower one."

"I got banned from the sperm bank the other day... They said I couldn't come within five hundred feet of the building."