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Joke of the Day
"Why are karate people always breaking boards? Did boards kill their parents?"
Next Joke
"Why do girls... Hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even!"
"Me: ""I'm so lonely."" Microscopic organism: ""Wow, I'm right here."""
"Nobody ever explained similes to me; I honestly cannot tell you what it has been like."
"For a good party trick, drill a hole in the top of your medicine cabinet and fill it with marbles before you invite people over."
"I was nearly crushed under a huge pile of bread. I was in so much pain."
"Somewhere in Brooklyn there's a baby named Helvetica being fussy about eating pureed kale and sleeping in his crib of repurposed bike parts."
"An Arab and a Jew walk into a bar... and they have a blast!"
"My family hates it when I swear, but I sound like a child using mild words.... ....damned if I do, darned if I don't"
"""Hey girl, are sitting on the F5 key?"" ""Because dat ass is refreshing."""