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Joke of the Day

"HR writing an email saying I'm a naughty girl is not an acceptable excuse to not take awareness training... Apparently"

"Why did the scout leader get arrested? They caught him eating a brownie"

"I cheated on my 24 year old girlfriend I apologized and told her my mistress is half the woman she is. ""That's because she's 12!"", said my girlfriend."

"[on way to play charades with gf's family] I don't wanna go why I don't wanna look silly you won't *first thing I have to act out is pasta*"

"What do you call a Russian on a golf course? Vladimir Puttin'"

"I may have witnessed the exact moment my high school became racist. It's when they changed all the blackboards into whiteboards. There's no way they could just chalk it up."

"There was a male striper who absolutely hated his line of work and wanted to quit. The pay was really good though, so he decided to stick it out for a little bit longer."

"Hey street performer, try juggling life and a real job"

"I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel. Dad, we're right in front of you Uh..... go ask your mom."

"Have you ever woken up because of a boner? Alarm cock."