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Joke of the Day

"You hear about the accident involving the mustang and the t bird? There was horse shit and feathers everywhere! My grandpa died 12 years ago this week, thought I'd share his favorite joke."

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"Why do breasts have nipples? Because without them they would be pointless."
"Why do rappers always get arrested? Because he who did the rhyme did the crime"
"My mother never attempted to wean me off of breast feeding. Just cut me off entirely one day... ...as if that first year of college wasn't difficult enough."
"Text 'ANYTHING' to 'Any Number' to donate $5 to your service provider if you have no texting plan."
"How does Google clean their facilities? They use Google Mops."
"Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, ""Let's eat kids"" becomes ""Let's eat punctuation"""
"What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke."
"If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet. If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested."
"Why are boats named after and referred to as women like ""Ain't she magnificent"" Because they're both things you can get in and still complain"