150362

Joke of the Day

"Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes."

"The human body is 70% water and 30% land"

"do i own a boat? no no no. im afraid of the ocean. i guess u coud say.. *removes glasses* i cant sea"

"""Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."" - me, peeping at you in the shower"

"A man spread his late wife's ashes on the lawn... ...so he could still cut her at least once a week."

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, ""First offender?"" She replied: ""No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."""

"Where did the burgers go after their wedding? On a bun-eymoon!"

"What do you get when you cross a fag and a dairy farm? A Dairy Queen"

"I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them."

"My favorite criminal intent: Robin Hood camping."