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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"

"I told the doctor I want to take my amputated leg home and he asked why ""Because it's my right"""

"Did you hear about the dyslexic KKK member? He went around killing gingers."

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

"Date advice to women from a guy: Laughing makes you 100 times more attractive than makeup."

"There are dogs that can detect cancer, find missing people, detect bombs, etc. My dog rolls around in other animals feces."

"Splinter: Leo. Mikey: I'm Michelangelo. That's Leo. Donny: I'm Donatello. That's Leo. Leo: I thought I was Raphael. - Why they wear masks"

"What's the difference between the Circus and the Playboy Mansion? The Circus features a cunning array of stunts."

"Im proud to be a black man! Said the black man Im proud to be an asian man! Said the asian man Im proud to be a white man! Said the racist"

"Dads are like boomerangs I hope."