149053

Joke of the Day

"I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger."

"A bunch of police officers were outside of a gas station today Apparently someone threw a case of beer ontop of his baby. The baby is okay though, it was a light beer"

"[Job Interview] How would you describe your time management skills? Me: Can we talk about this later? I'm late for an appointment."

"My sister bet me $100 I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti You should have seen her face when I drove pasta."

"['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium? They're calling it the Mac-Arena."

"People need to stop acting like animals have the same emotions as humans... ...they hate it when we do that."

"Did you hear about the guys who snorted curry powder instead of cocaine? One of them now has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma."

"""You know what would make this rice even better? Racism."" - Pitch meeting for Uncle Ben's"

"Friends are like Snowflakes If you pee on them, they disappear."

"Two homeless guys see a dog licking his balls. One says to the other ""I wish I could do that"" the other says ""don't you think you should pet him first""."